Mummy Needs a Time Out

I don't do it often, but when my boys are acting out (usually because they are tired or upset by something they really can't verbalise yet), I put them in time out. Time out is not the 'naughty step' or a 'punishment' really, it is just what it says... a time out. It is time for them to calm down and reflect on what they did wrong or what they didn't do. It is a time to think about whether or not they need to say sorry. It is a time for them to be removed from the situation, take a deep breath and get back into a more positive frame of mind. I personally love the idea of time out.

Lately, I have found that I'm getting on my husband's case about helping me out (this relates to time outs trust me!). Having said that, he works full time and gets home quite late from work so there isn't too much he can do during the week but I feel like the weekends are where I need help. However, every time I ask him for help he asks 'Ok, what do you need me to do?' and you know what? I very rarely have an answer. Why not? Because you see, I have probably already done everything that needs doing and I have worked myself into a real state doing so. And now, because I don't have a good answer of what I'd like his help with, I get more frustrated and end up saying 'never mind' or 'forget it', which I'm sure confuses my husband to no end.

So the other day I was on a run and this thought about how I needed a bit of help to gain some me time and feel more relaxed crossed my mind. Running can do this to you...gives you time to think ;)  I thought and thought, what could I possibly give my husband to do? He isn't home much during the week and by the weekend most things are done.

Then it hit me, what is it that I do during the week when he isn't home and I feel like I need help (unfortunately I can't call my family for help as they live in the States and my in-laws are also at least an hour and a half away)? I have a time out! I tell the boys 'Mummy needs a time out'. I leave the room they are in (for a couple minutes only), make a cup of tea, take a few deep breaths, close my eyes for a minute, gain some perspective on whatever is overwhelming me, etc... and when I am done I go back to them and they ask 'Is your time out over?' and I say 'yes' and then we can get on with the day. Although, I won't lie I have had a couple days where more than one time out for mummy was needed! ;)

When I got back from my run I told my husband that I'd had a light bulb moment. I said to him, 'when I say I need help, it is not always because I need help with something in particular, it is because I just need a break.' The look on his face said it all. I wasn't pestering him after all, I just needed him to step in so that I could relax for a bit. I think we both felt some relief with this realisation. :)

Being cheeky, I took things a step further by asking for a spa night away for my birthday! Now that would be a brilliant Mummy Time out! :-) Fingers crossed!